I truly love my husband and it is so crazy how much that love still grows every single day. I would have never thought that I could love my husband any more than I did that day I said yes to marrying him. There are so many things I have learned about myself and so many things I have learned about him. I am sure there are a few things I have taught him since we have been together but there are so many things he has taught me and that this marriage has taught me.
Just the other day we were asked what kind of advice we would give about marriage. Man, I definitely don't consider us experts in any way and we are definitely still learning but there are some definite things that we have learned that we find essential for our marriage to succeed.
1. Apologize and Forgiveness!
Nobody is perfect and you can't expect your spouse to be. We have really been working on being quick to apologize if we do or say something that bothers or hurts the others feelings. Man, it is really tough sometimes to step out of your pride to apologize but it is so worth it. Pride and selfishness is what will hurt your relationship. Marriage is about serving your spouse and putting their happiness before your own. Force the apology. Even if you don't understand it or don't agree, it is more important to apologize than to be right and to accept the apology when it is given.
2. Never sleep on the couch!
No matter how mad you are, or what kind of argument you have been in, never sleep on the couch. When you choose to sleep somewhere other than in the same place as your spouse, it creates even more hurt and more to argue about. When you choose to stay in the same bed, it shows commitment and allows you to break down those walls of anger. Walking away hurts your relationship. Staying forces you to push those bad feelings aside. That is if you want to go to sleep peacefully. When you stay, you are most likely able to make up sooner rather than later. Clay and I can usually apologize or realize how stupid our argument is. One of us will turn over and grab the others hand. Hearts are softened when you hold hands :)
3. Key word.
Sometimes it can be really hard to share certain feelings to your spouse because of the worry that they will get offended by what you have to say. It is so important to communicate with your spouse but it is also so important to not get offended either. Couples grow together in marriage and the way to change for the better and to improve is to listen to those who truly care about you. When Clayton and I have something that is bothering us or if we don't agree with a certain behavior, we say a key word. This key word helps the other person prepare themselves for something that is not intended to hurt their feelings. We love each other no matter what, we just need to communicate. Our key word is Compassion. We say this word before sharing a piece of information that we feel needs to be worked on in our relationship. At times it is hard to listen to criticism from your spouse, but that key word means that our love for each other has not changed.
4. Pray together every night!
I won't lie. It was hard at first to pray as a couple. We just weren't used to it. It is so amazing though to kneel together in prayer every night and to make it a habit. This is a time to bond spiritually and remember where our priorities are. It is a time to pray for the other and feel the spirit bringing us closer to our Heavenly Father. It is important to view your spouse spiritually and hear the words that come out of their mouth when they pray. It shows love and commitment to each other and to Heavenly Father. It is also good for the relationship to pray for humility and pray for help in whatever you are struggling with. I love prayer :)
5. Keep the house clean!
It is so true when people say that the spirit dwells in a clean home. It is so easy for us to feel stressed and frustrated when our home is messy. I really try to make sure the home is as clean as it can be before Clayton gets home. His day is full of stress from work and he doesn't deserve coming home to a messy house. Make your home a place of rest and peace. A place where you can feel peace. The main things that help my home to stay peaceful are just a few tasks...
-dishes washed
-kitchen counters cleaned off
-bed made (our rule: the last person out of bed makes it)
-no cluttery mess or clothes on the floor
-bathroom straightened
We have a very small home, so this list is pretty much all I need to check off every day. It is so worth it too.
6. Express gratitude and love.
It is so important to always thank your spouse for the things they do and to always remind them that you love them. It honestly never gets old. It is hard to serve each other if we don't feel like it is appreciated or even wanted. You should serve anyway, even if you aren't always acknowledged but try to remember to always share your gratitude and love. Say thank you and I Love you always!!
For our anniversary, Clay and I had to work; but, we were able to spend the evening together. I surprised him with a hammock. He had been mentioning how bad he wants one since we moved to our new place. He had no idea that I was getting him one and sure enough he was so excited to find that that was in the big box sitting out for him when he got home from work.
Sure enough, he surprised me with a gift as well. He bought me a new blender because my old one burnt out. I absolutely love it! It is super stylish looking and comes with a personal blender attachment. So thoughtful and exciting :) Excuse my outfit, I had just gotten back from the gym ha
I used the blender the next day and made my awesome Morning Spin Smoothie.
I am so happy he loves the Dual Hammock. I love it too! I ordered it off of eBay.
It was such a good purchase because now we have an awesome new past time. It was so great to be able to just lay together last night and listen to a little soft music on Pandora. I was picturing us doing the very same thing 10 years down the road but with us being able to watch our kids running around on the lawn haha I love us!
Happy Blogging :)
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