Be Positive

I haven't posted in a couple of months. This is mainly because my health has taken a turn for the worse, and for a while, I was very embarrassed by it. Here I am promoting a lifestyle change and a certain diet to follow that has helped me for so long to all of a sudden be feeling so sick again. This diet isn't easy but when you are feeling the benefits it is so much easier. When you aren't feeling the benefits, and you are feeling so lethargic, it is so difficult to make all your meals and spend time in the kitchen. I still stand by this lifestyle and know that it is beneficial. There must have just been something in the diet that I should have taken out or maybe something I should have been adding more of. Or maybe it was just stress induced. Crohns is difficult to understand for that reason. Who knows what it was. As of right now, I will be going back on Remicade infusions next week. I am desperate for help. I can barely walk because of the arthritis my Crohns has caused to my knees and ankles. I am getting major swelling as well as some other not so enjoyable symptoms that I am sure some other Crohnies can understand. I have to take it day by day and try to stay positive. I am not perfect and some days I find myself hating the world. I find myself mad and envious of those who don't have to worry about their health or the food that they eat. I have a hard time going to work. My lack of energy and the pain I feel when being on my feet make it hard for me to get the job done. I just have to keep going. I have found that still trying my best, going to work, and socializing with friends, is how I am going to keep myself from falling into that negative pathway of being depressed and hiding in my room, curled in a ball. Every once in a while I have one of those nights, but it is important to get out and surround yourself with the people that make you happy. I am so grateful to have such great friends and family, who know my situation, and are nothing but a support and comfort to me.

All these symptoms I am having has held me back from doing a lot of things. Like I said before, I can barely walk. I feel like so many of us take for granted having strong and healthy bodies. Being this way has made me very anxious to be healthy and go out and explore the world. Have an adventure. Go hiking or kayaking or whatever opportunity arises. I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN. As soon as I am out of this ancient and sick body, I am going to be young again and treat myself that way. I am 23 years old and need to live my life that way. No more saying no to adventure haha

I hope you guys didn't mind me ranting through this post haha and just know that I still have a strong testimony of this diet and I plan to go back to it when I get my body in a stable state again. Keep on going and don't give up. We have so much to live for and to do in this life. We can't let our disease get the best of us.

Happy Blogging,
Melanie